So, I can't sleep. I am not sure why. But as I lie here awake I can't help but let my mind wonder.
I want to be a mom! So bad. And I try really hard to not think about it. And to totally trust that God's got this under control. But sometimes in the moments where I am all alone in my thoughts, I can't help but wonder why? Why do 16 year old girls get pregnant in the back of a pick up after a football game. What to woman who don't want to be moms get to be moms. And people like me, who has done everything right and by the book, and always followed every rule cry myself
to sleep, and wonder if my turn will ever come? And I really don't want anyone to think that this me all the time because it's not.
I know that God loves me, and I know that He has a plan much much bigger than my own. And that He is a God that does good. And God that it is faithful. And anyone around me can attest to the fact that I am getting better. And I am dealing with things and my feelings, and I am ok now. Every now and then I just have these moments and for once I just needed to let it out.
So if you read this and you are wondering if you can help. Just pray for me. I have been feeling really discouraged and stressed this week. I also have been so busy that I feel alone. (and I know I am not) Thanks! Good night!
